SSB: Phear Phactor
by ACT II
Summary: Master Hand forces them to do Phear Phactor! Not Fear Factor. FLAMES ONLY!2 Will never ever be updated ever again! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
1. 1: Intro

BOO/YAY! A new fic! That I made.

Yay...

(frowny face that's eating cheese here)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own SSB, SSBM, SSBB, SSBP, BS, SVU, CSI, SUV, FF, RLS, ABC, NBC, PBS,USA, USS, ASAP, 911, 411, 811, NYPD, LAPD, IKWYDLS, ROFL, LMAO, LOL, OMG, WTF. But I do own the world.

* * *

Yoshi was sitting with Roy and Mr. Game and Watch on the couch that (insert type of weather here)-y day, Yoshi was trying to squeeze out a fart, grunting and making faces. 

"GRRRRRRR, EEEEEEEEEII." Yoshi grunted.

The two on either side of him ignored this.

Yoshi popped in a cloud of fart stuff.

Roy tried eating it but ended up eating a taco.

Master Hand then came in and said, "Who wants free lice?"

"ME!" the two screamed, the glove resurrected Yoshi with your mom (Oooooooh…?) and they all left to the dinning hall.

"Who wants free lice?" he asked again to the other Smashers,

"ME!" they said, including the other three.

"Then follow me!" he said and floated away through the door, the Smashers blindly following.

He flew past a large box with a stick holding it up, once they were under it, he yanked a string and it fell over them.

"Master Hand was even too smart for me…" Mewtwo said seriously.

"Stupid evil plans," Fox whined.

"Who's there?" a voice asked,

"Us." Link replied,

"Oh." the voice said,

After a while the box was lifted up and a weird studio thing that was weird and studio-ish was in front of them.

"Coolz." The voice, who turned out to be Snake, with the other new Smashers said and stuff.

"Now you have to play PHEAR PHACTOR!" Master Hand said.

"O RLY?" questioned Marth, falling into the sewers and fighting off evil mutant zombie mutant evil rats of horror and doom.

"Yes." He said,

They shrugged and went into the studio.

"Hi, I will be your host for Phear Phactor." Explained a creepy-ass girl named May, from the Pokemon series.

"NUUUUUUEEEE…" Mario cried and went on a rampage eating coffee tables.

"Ok where's Daisy…" Link said, looking under people's butts for her hiding place. Even though they were all standing and Link was just pretending to link together two of my stories to look at peoples' butts.

"This time it's a black Yoshi." She said, a black Yoshi came up to them slitting his wrists, and then slit his throat. A camera guy died instead.

Marth ran in screaming, covered in rats.

Then a freaky odor wafted in and everyone held his or her nose, Young Link ripped his nose off and looked for a place to put it.

Pit only pinched the skin on his nose until tears came down because he was a sadistic freak.

"Oh that, that's just from the Hidden Room." May said.

"'K." Falco said, breaking his beak from pinching it.

"Ok, to your dorms." May said as she motioned for them to follow her, causing Link to get motion sickness.

May kept smiling, as if Link didn't barf all over her shirt, because he didn't. He barfed on Zelda; luckily she thought this was sexy.

She showed them to two rooms, one pink and the other brown. The boy's got the pink one and the girls got the brown one. Each room had beds lined up against the walls and a plasma TV on each long end.

* * *

"The walls are so… dark." Peach commented, as they looked almost black, 

"I like to pretend they're made of poo," Jigglypuff giggled.

* * *

"Yay pink!" Marth screamed, jumping up and down on his bed. 

"Where's Kirby?" Pikachu asked, as the pink was camouflage to the puffball's skin.

* * *

The girl's beds were all glaring purple and seemed to glow, the boy's beds were clear.

* * *

"Omg I lub brown lolz." Jigglypuff said and tried eating the walls. 

"Stupid rhyming…" Samus said.

* * *

I deleted two stories. 

Boo...

(rips off some more Joeb-ish stuff)

Review?


	2. 2: New Hosts!

YUMMMREMRERYERYRYYRYRYRYURFHFDFJGHDGH.

* * *

"Standards set and broken all the time!

Control the chaos behind your mom!

Call it as I see it even if!

I was born deaf, blind, and dumb!

Winners losing big on the-"

Roy, singing and jumping on his bed, crashed into the ceiling and hung there by his head.

This was Jigglypuff's alarm clock, as she got up. Tasting the poo (paint) in her mouth and generally feeling good inside, the balloon Pokemon rolled out the door and down the stairs.

She flew across the room to the diner-like kitchen, splattering all over the wall and oozed into the cup.

"Ooh I guess we still have some batter!" Zelda said, noticing the very pink liquid, "Who wants seconds?"

"ME!" Bowser and Pichu said at the same time, "WHY JOO LITTLE!"

They then fought to the death.

Bowser won and had it all.

Some yellow goo on the wall went into the cup again, "Ooh, who wants even more!"

"ME!" Bowser said and had it all.

Then Bowser's head turned into Jigglypuff with Pichu's ears, and his tail turned into a large version of Pichu's tail.

But no one noticed because they felt like it.

Then the black Yoshi unintentionally cut his own head off.

"NUUE?" Link said with mixed feelings of humor/humor/spiritual.

"YAY!" Yoshi cried.

Captain Falcon shook his head, "Racist…" then he walked off dramatically,

"I thought he was supposed to be a Goth or something…" Ness said.

"Ok!" May exclaimed, magically appearing in the room, "We'll replace him with…"

The Smashers leaned forward.

"…" May said,

The Smashers leaned forward.

"…!" May said,

The Smashers got bored and left.

"…!!" May said,

No one was there.

"…" May sighed,

A squirrel came in through the window.

"!" May said,

The squirrel ran out the door.

"?" May wondered,

The squirrel came back in.

"D8" May tried to 'say', but ended up biting her own head off.

The squirrel was dragging Roy in by the hair who was screaming in terror. It tried pulling him out the window to its lair.

Roy shoved May's body up its nose, causing it to release him.

He chucked May's smiling head at it, knocking it off the windowsill.

"Don't forget the first challenge will start soon!" May's head said as a dog carried it off.

* * *

"I wonder if this is the Hidden Room?" Samus questioned as she approached a door with 'Janitor Closet' written on it. She entered.

She just stood there staring at the wall in the dark, and stayed there some more because it was fun.

"I wonder if this is the janitor closet?" Yoshi questioned as he approached a door with 'Hidden Room' on it. He entered.

A kazoo and some farting noises were heard. Then Yoshi hopped out, just a head with a green lava lamp for a body, "Cool…" he said.

"I wonder if this is the bathroom?" Link questioned Kirby, looking at a bathroom.

"No, that is," Kirby replied, pointing to the kitchen they were just in.

Then when he wasn't looking, Link ate Kirby in one bite. Though he didn't because he was the one who wasn't looking and fell down the stairs screaming.

Then the Smashers who weren't freaks/nose hairs ran in and tried eating Kirby who ran off.

The Puffball ran up stairs and hid in the dryer in the closet.

Zelda, trying to suppress her giggles, and turned on the washer machine after putting in some clothes.

The Smashers who got the joke tried not laughing, all this creeped Kirby out and jumped out.

"I GIVE UP!" he yelled, giving up before he had a traumatic experience.

"Eh, I don't feel like it," the Smashers said all at once.

"'K." Kirby said,

"'K," Each Smasher replied one after another.

Bower then turned to normal and the two Pokemon appeared in a toilet nearby.

* * *

Fox and Mewtwo ran past Samus's fun place, which was getting boring.

They ran into the Hidden Room, which wasn't hidden at all.

Inside was a Jigglypuff themed funhouse with bright colors.

"YAY!" Fox said and ran down the maze like place, Mewtwo followed.

What sounded like a cat eating cheese was heard and the two walked out, "Stupid hotdog stand guy…" Fox growled, angry.

Mewtwo couldn't talk because he was made of chocolate ice cream.

But it was Ok because it was fun to be like that.

* * *

"Shouldn't we be doing a challenge by now?" Falco asked, trying to push Link off his pogo stick because he wasn't sharing.

"Your right!" May said, her head on a red lava lamp.

Then she and Yoshi saw each other and made out, rolling around and trying to take each other's holders off their bottles.

"STFU!" Ganondorf exclaimed and put their heads on their bodies and fed the lamps to Kirby.

May then fell into some Jell-O and was never heard from again, which was very rude to the guests.

"Hi, I'll replace May as host of Phear Phactor!" Master Hand and Crazy Hand said at once.

"Hey I wanna!" Crazy screamed in horror,

"But you're always second." stated Master Hand, "So it just makes since for it to be me because I'm always first!"

"Why don't you two just take turns and/or do it at the same time?" the Jell-O suggested,

"Hmm, that's a very good- HA!" Crazy Hand yelled, dropping a larger block of Jell-O on to it.

"Let's just start already!" Peach said, munching on a bag of salted radios.

"Hey, those are mine!" Meta Knight exclaimed,

The two then fought to the death.

* * *

Peach used a dog, holding its back legs.

They fought as the metal tower leaned into the lava. Peach deflected some lasers from an alien cannon with her dog/weapon and chopped downward on Meta Knight, who knocked the dog from her hands.

Peach emptied the whole bag down her throat and laughed madly, "NOW YOU CAN NEVER HAVE IT!"

"NUUUUUEEZ…" he cried and stabbed himself in the stomach, popping instantly.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAH- WAAAH!" Peach slipped on the rubbery goo of the knight and fell, landing on a large rock an inch from the lava but melting nonetheless.

* * *

Crazy Hand resurrected them with his Deth-B-Gon®.

"Ok then, now let's do a challenge," Master Hand said.

But then the chapter was over.

* * *

Flame away!


End file.
